“Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment.” -Buddha
“To stay present in everyday life, it helps to be deeply rooted within yourself; otherwise, the mind, which has incredible momentum, will drag you along like a wild river.” -Eckhart Tolle
This is going to be my New Year of Perfect Moments. I am going to truly savor and be present to the beautiful moments that unfold– in a new and improved way.
Each of us is a master-manifestor, bringing forth experiences and states of being that are a direct reflection of our individual state of consciousness. Everything that is happening to us, for better or for worse, is our own direct creation.
I used my powers of manifestation over the course of nine years to heal myself from my chronic health issues, and I am using it to stay well. By truly believing and knowing that in my essence, “I am well” and “I am healthy,” I altered my reality to match that. I saw those statements as the irrefutable truth of who I deeply am, and pushed my agenda along by adopting my “Well-being Blend” of body, mind and spirit practices, not to mention endless prayers, sung mantras, nightly Reiki and the whole healing kitchen sink. My healing was one of my greatest manifestations of all time.
Aside from health, I have used manifestation to create a life for myself that is filled with love, music, art, poetry, personal growth and inspired travel. My intention for all of this was set years and years ago, and the reality of it all appearing so wondrously amazes me.
This is all good, but lately, I noticed a habit that is keeping me from savoring some of the unexpected beautiful moments. If the health, love and art are “big stones” dropped into my pond, these beautiful moments are the delightful vibrational “ripples” of proof that good things are coming my way. It’s all connected.
Yes, I have amazing, unpredictable things happen to me every week. It’s like I am magic person and every year, the amount of this magic in my life, or perhaps my awareness of it, increases. That’s the good news. When these special moments happen, I DO get intoxicated by the amazing feeling of wonder, love, presence, connection, bliss—whatever that moment is bringing. My experience with that is perfect- I’ve got that part down! I am fully aware, my heart open, chest cracked wide to the heavens, savoring that experience with all of my senses. That’s when I am at my best.
When I am at my worst, I start expecting something specific to happen next, or get this, intentionally trying to manifest and control the outcome, according to my best idea of what world work perfectly for me, my vision of the world according to Megan.
I found myself doing just that the other day with a hummingbird.
I have a very special relationship with, respect for and awe of hummingbirds, who are my spirit animal, and who, for me, symbolize vibrant self-love, self-acceptance and (ironically, based on what I wrote above) flexibility. One afternoon, the girls and I were enjoying our beautiful backyard Buddha garden, pulling our wrought iron garden chairs into the bright winter sun to warm up. Madeline played on the iPad and Amelia watched me fill the birdbath. In this beautiful moment of sunny peace, an iridescent violet-headed hummingbird swooped right up to me, shimmered at my eye-level for a few meaningful moments and hummed off. Amelia and I stared in amazement. We have never, ever seen that particular hummingbird- a rare “Costa’s hummingbird”. I immediately knew it was a sign that 2015 would be an extraordinary year. I soaked in the message, but almost as soon as he left, I wanted to see him again. I sat outside for 30 more minutes, but he never reappeared.
Can you see it? So what if I don’t see that hummingbird again! I don’t need to! I got the message loud and clear! My waiting seemed so ridiculous that I decided to change my approach to these unexpected, beautiful moments right then and there.
The next evening, as I was driving up 680 North after an afternoon of roller skating, my girls and their new friend chattered happily in the backseat as I enjoyed the sky turning a brilliant pink with the sunset. It seemed so natural when my 12 year old special needs (or as I like to say “special gifts”) daughter, Madeline, who struggles in peer social situations, chimed in with a spirited joke. A joke! The friend giggled hysterically over it, Madeline realized the joke was a hit, had a quick moment of self-pride as she repeated the joke, and then all three girls rolled with laughter. And while witnessing this miracle, it rushed back to me how for years she has struggled to even speak to another child besides her sister, how since she was 2 years old, she has had to be painstakingly taught sociable words and intonations, how many hours and years she has practiced with her speech therapist, how I could never have, in my wildest dreams foreseen this moment, her with such ease in the middle of this joyful exchange. It brought tears to my eyes and I savored it wholly, completely, and let it be, as it was, in its beautiful glory. The pink sunset glowed.
I had a cosmic first date on Friday evening, and from the moment I saw this man at the front door of Bix in San Francisco, it was nothing but absolute magic. When we got to our table, we took each other’s hands and just stared at each other for ten long seconds- like “wow”. During our dinner, I was fully aware that this was the perfect man to be with on this perfect evening, and that we were being fully present to each other, and being perfectly, authentically ourselves. Believe me, I have been on dozens and dozens of first dates, and this type of intense vibrational match has so rarely happened to me that it takes my breath away to even write about how it felt. I will never forget it, and neither will he. And see, that’s it, that date was the New Year’s gift, wrapped just for us- an intensely powerful evening of connection that most people on this planet will never, ever experience.
So I am practicing savoring these gifted moments and keeping my expectations in check, trying to let go of ideas about what might be the perfect thing to happen next. Expectations are a normal part of being human, but in my particular case, and maybe for you too, the expectations are coming from FEAR—it’s an uncomfortable grasping for more of what I want, a nervous attempt to control my outcomes, to make something (I perceive as) “good” happen. That bliss, that joy, is SO almost in my grasp!
Is that all? If I go deeply down another shadowy layer (and this is scary), I see that I am afraid that my life will somehow go back to those utterly helpless moments when I was a little girl feeling entirely trapped in my circumstances. And let’s be serious, I am so beautifully protected now with so much power, love, magic and cascading beautiful moments like these. What do I have to fear?
When I am truly being my best, I remember that I don’t need to control anything. I receive. I enjoy the manifestations of my intentions-the hummingbird, the pink sunset in the car with my giggling girls, the connection during that magical evening with that beautiful man. They are here and this is now. The universe is up under me, and life is weaving miracles for me that are beyond my expectations, preparing more joy than I could ever imagine. It’s under you too.